i am not on the bus anymore but the feeling is still there.

Here I am sitting on the bus trying to find a reason of why I didn’t do my lab report over the weekend. I got an extension for it.
I was meant to hand it in on Friday.
But I didn’t do that either.
I didn’t even go to university on friday.
I got told on Wednesday that I might have aspergers or high functioning autism.
In some way its a relief. I always knew that my brain didn’t work the same as other people’s.
the question is what if I am not?
Where does that leave me?
That just means that there is no explanation as to why I am bad at maths.
That just means that the reason I am so bad it is because I have not tried hard enough.
That there is no logical explanation.

My mother is against getting an official diagnosis.
“What does it change?” She asked me.
”Nothing.”

kitchen porn is what keeps me sane.

Jed has left.
Actually he has left about 6 days ago.
The first thing I did after I waved him goodbye was to go to the nearest kitchen appliance shop and look at all of the things I couldn’t afford.

I want to buy a kitchen aid.
This ‘wanting’ may include a grand total of  no less than 5 kitchen aid mixers.
Yes, that is right. Five.
One was never going to be enough.
I could use them in my budding currently non-existent cupcake/food company I told myself. Clearly if I was going to do that then I needed more than one.
The problem was the fantastical range of colours .
Black was an obvious choice.
It’s the colour I wear the most.

I have decided on the GLASS bowl with this one.
It’s my staple colour.
I like black.

Obviously I am having more than one.
Cream or white?
Both are colours that I wear often and that I like.

OR

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then I saw this most gorgeous light pistachio green.
It was a suave italian.
“Hello La mia stella brillante! lo scoperò fuori dai vostri piedi~*”
Yes.
Yes.

That brings me up to a total of four.
I detest the number four.
I loathe it.
I prefer using the term ‘3b’ as a replacement.
The number four is too perfect.
Too symmetrical.
It’s fake.
The plastic blonde bimbo that is ‘popular’. Plastically fake.
I hate things in groups of four**.
There is no way that I would stop at just having four kitchen aids.
So FIVE it is.

I just can’t decide on the last colour. Not so surprisingly this might also the colour palette of my future house.

Jed’s father gave me a new phone. It’s more like Jed’s father gave JED a new phone and Jed told him to give it to me.
You see before that I have had the same phone for 5 years straight.
This is unheard of for a teenage girl.
I like decorating things.

*I take no responsibility for what will happen to you if you say this as a pick up line nor do I take responsibility how accurate it is.
**This applies to everything. If I have two child then get pregnant with twins? You can bet your pretty pixel arse I will have another one.

Political spewl from a pancake ruiner screaming jellyfish.

I might have accidentally lost my journal.
I am very good at losing things.
If I had superpowers it would be one of mine.
It’s not so much as lost more like infinitely misplaced.
I inherited it from my mother.
She is infamous in our house for putting her car keys in the fridge.
JED is even better at losing things than I am.
He is constantly asking me where things are.
“Where is the remote?”
“Behind you.”
“Where is your drink bottle?”
“Behind you.”
“Where are the house keys?”
“On the drink bottle. Which is behind you.”
“Where is my eftpos card?”
“In your pocket. On your jeans. Behind you.”
And so it goes on.

Currently he has gotten me to make pancakes for him.
He’s been bugging me at midnight for the last two nights to make him some then and there.
He hates eating breakfast in the morning.
So guess what I am doing?
Making him pancakes IN THE MORNING.

Usually the first pancake I make is the only dud.
I screwed up three.
I was way too busy prancing around the house screaming at the top of lungs about the grades I got for the first two assignments.
4/4 and 9/10.
A+ BABY!!
We are studiously ignoring the fact that the next assignment after that I got 17/40.
It was all about lewis diagrams-y things which for the life of my I still don’t get.
5 years later from when I first learnt it.
It’s taken a long time to exist within MELNATION.

Did I mention that it takes me over an hour to make a batch of pancakes?
I’m a perfectionist.
Perfect pancakes are a bitch.
I hate the brown burnt butter in the pan.
All of my pancakes are cooked on low heat and flipped to perfection.
Secret is butterbutterbutter.
Even my pancake recipe calls for butter.

We get free newspapers at my university.
It’s quite nice.
Also dangerous.
It gives me more reasons to dislike our prime minster.

http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/V4lEf4d7rET/John+Key+Attends+New+Government+Ministry+Appointment/9B_lssgsaIH/John+Key

Do you see what I mean? He just sits there smiling.
ALL OF THE TIME.
Granted he is a multi millionaire.
50 million dollars millionaire.

He wants to screw around with my student loan.
THAT IS NOT OKAY.

I am a part-time student. At the moment this is all I can do whilst trying to mentally gain stability.

How is reducing the amount of students getting tertiary            education going to help in the recession?
Making it hard to get financial support is not the answer.
In particular when he says things like  this –
“That is about the only thing that will get [young people] out of bed before seven o’clock at night to vote, but it’s not politically sustainable to put interest back on student loans.”

I voted.
Before 7 o’clock I might add.
What I didn’t do was to vote for YOU John key.

In so many words I say nothing.

I’m a chemist.
Well, more like a chemistry student.
I’m not sure if I actually have mentioned it before, most like I have but in lots of words.
I’m not a very good chemistry student.
In fact I’m kind of horrible.
Most of the fact comes from I have trouble understand questions.
I like specifics.
Want me to use an equation? Give me the equation then.

All things relating to maths are a bane to my existence.
They are TERRORISTS to my MELNATION.
Physics is not my strong point. I love the concept behind physics, the maths part not so much.

I have a goal.
http://www.heg-gastronomy.com/Home.aspx
Basically Jed says to take it as a master’s degree in molecular gastronomy.
Well it’s more than a master’s degree considering it /takes/ a master’s degree to get in.
Or relative experience.
Whatever that entails.

So here is what I am going to do.
– Finish my BSc with Chem as my major.
(I have way too much student loan debt not to finish it off. )
– Maybe get a pastry certificate.
(This will involve maybe two years of study.)
– Advanced cooking level 5 diploma. They have a molecular gastronomy optional block.
(I have no idea the requirements that I must have for this. At least another year.)
– Learn French.
(A mission and a half in itself.)

Oh and somehow cancel most of my debt before I go off to France.
SERIOUSLY JOHN KEY, IF YOU ADD INTEREST TO MY STUDENT LOAN WHILST I’M STILL STUDYING I AM GOING TO BE PISSED.

And after I have gone to France and done all of that, my Chemistry mentor (who is basically like my YODA.) has told me to invite him to the opening of my restaurant.

It’s taken me a long long time to come up with even a plan for my future.
I also have a habit of placing unrealistic expectations on myself.
Seriously, I managed to con myself into thinking that I could play a grade 8 piece on the piano if only I practised hard enough.
The most piano playing experience I have had was when I did it for a couple of lessons when I was like 10.
Things like that are typical of me.

……….
Jed has decided to build his own AMAZING COMPUTER OF THE FUTURE.
My ears hurt.
On the plus side, need help building your computer? I can help.

————————————————————————–

My current item of swoonage.
Rotary Evaporator.
It might be $3000-4000.
Anyone want to help?
I can give you tea infused vodka as a payment.

Jumper wearing is NOT optional.

One of my favourite bloggers said this about keeping a blog.
“The blog is like a baby, you have to feed it two to three times a day or else it will DIE.”
If a blog is like a baby then my baby is starved and malnourished.
Jed states that the whole blog is a baby angle is crap.
/Jed/ is the one screaming and demanding my attention. Throwing tantrums if he doesn’t get his way.
Jokes on him. I throw them right back.

There is a small prepackaged container of his favourite morning drink sitting in the fridge just chilling.
He refuses to drink it because I refuse to tell him where I produced it from.

Am currently back at uni officially which means lot of panic attacks and Jed getting yelled at.
Silly man refuses to wear a jumper.

I have lots of Jed-Mel stories to tell you but need to buckle down and write them out.
-The time Jed mindf**cked me.
-Where I refuse to play his games.
-Jed loses everything including the mental facility to off the lights in the bedroom.
-Bad English from Mel.

Pills, JED, doughnuts and books.

Jed is getting more and more annoyed that I am busy typing away at the laptop.
Also- Jed does not eat doughnuts.
Shocking I know.
But this is coming from the person that eats pickled onions whole and drinks the brine.
Oh sorry, Jed has just informed me that ‘he sips it to get the flavour thankyouverymuch!’

All my head goes is JEDJEDJED.

It is sunday night.
Jed gets back on Tuesday afternoon.
Tuesday its self will be spent tramping out to the airport.
So that just leaves tomorrow.

I’ve been depressed. In bed for about a week straight. Not doing anything. I know that I should be trying but I can’t bring myself to motivate myself to.

So thinking post today it will be.
I wrote this after an incident with a less than kind neighbour.

 

Chocolate grizzly bear for once it’s not Jed.

Easter is a danger holiday.
All holidays are dangerous.
The candy aisle is even more so.

Easter contains chocolate.
With Jed is gone, it means that the chocolate monster is rampant.
It also means that I can’t be bothered to shave my legs.
…..
Not that I shave my legs much in the first place.
What can I say?
I’m a blubbering hairy white chick and I’m okay with that.
(It helps when you are blubbering hairy white chick on /vacation/.)

Recently I had a dream where I patented an idea for M and M deodorant.
Yes, M and M candy.
Actually it was edible deodorant and it had whole m and m pieces in it.

Help!
Someone stop giving the angry chocolate monster chocolate!
…….
I may have just finished eating another chocolate easter egg.

SECRET BATTLE HEADQUATERS. WE ARE UNDER SIEGE.

WAIT, I MEAN SIEGE.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SPRAY TOO MUCH RAID AND ACCIDENTALLY INHALE.
Note to self- Buy more raid.

When you are under SIEGE lists are needed.
I am fully serious about my list.
Seriously serious.

THERE IS A SPIDER TRYING TO EAT ME. YOU WOULD BE SCARED TOO. IT’S GIANT.

JED HAS LEFT ME ALONE IN THE COUNTRY FOR ABOUT A DAY.

I HAVE ALREADY BEEN ATTACKED BY A GIANT OF THE SPIDER RACE.

WHAT DO I DO IF IT TURNS INTO A ZOMBIE SPIDER?!

This is why I needed the flamethrower!!!

It’s also in the shower room.
I had a shower with my glasses on just so I could see its every movement incase it decided to charge.

I killed it with raid.
MY DEODORANT IS IN THERE.
Do I just buy new deodorant?